How To Make Marriage Last!
June 1st, 2024The Institution of Marriage is foundational to the function of the human race, at least that is my opinion!
Recently my wife and I celebrated our 60th Wedding Anniversary on the 9 May 2024, which set my mind in train to explore why so many modern marriages are falling apart?
No, I’m not about to give you a philosophical diatribe or cause guilt feelings concerning marriages that have been unsuccessful.
I cannot be boastful in this mater as the dark spectrum of divorce has been part of my extended family’s experience.
These experiences have led to darkness, soul pain, profound disappointment & shame which flooded my heart on a number of occasions.
I have observed these experiences are usual symptoms of broken relationships and sometimes can have a part in most marriages if we are honest!
At our Diamond Celebration (that sparkly thought sounds good hey?)
I found myself examining my own history of 60 years of God’s goodness and grace.
We are every day and forever thankful.
Looking at the congratulatory cards I saw my grandkids looking with intrigue at the cards we received from King Charles, the Prime Minister, the Governor General & others.
‘Warmest Congratulations’ were the key words!
They even put the signatures on the cards under the microscope of their iPhone cameras to see if they were genuine or fake!
Needless to say, it highlighted to them that their Grandparents had achieved something special.
I would have preferred that they thought ‘Marriage’ was special. Perhaps they did?
Then I realised more than ever, the example we as parents pass onto our children and especially our grandchildren about the institution of Marriage.
Now I don’t want to pretend that I have a perfect marriage, which would be the height of arrogance.
I may have counselled scores of couples over a lifetime but looking back, I sometimes cringe at my own male ministerial ego, which led me to give advice that feigned to have all the answers.
Often I smile to myself, at the hyperbole of listed virtues we endow on marriage partners which are called to mind and listed on celebration events.
However we all know that perfection is not a human trait.
Love, acceptance and forgiveness are essential ingredients to bring into every marriage.
Describing marriage is no easy task.
The parade of perfection is perhaps not helpful as couples work together through their human natures depending on the help of God’s abundant grace.
Marriage holds the exhilarating “honey-moon” moments, the comforting secure moments of commitment, the magical retrospect of the lifelong journey of “the two of us.”
Each marriage is unique and deserves to be described in its own special way.
I observe social media writers have a litany of adjectives for their marriages: Blissful, to the Moon and back, loving, honest, harmonious, adventurous, passionate, devoted …… What adjectives would you add?
After 60 years of Marriage, people ask me “What is the secret to a long lasting Marriage”?
To which I reply:
1. A belief in God who created the Institution of Marriage!
2. A spiritual conviction establishing the Will of God in bringing you together!
3. A Covenant was entered into ‘until death do us part!’
Notice I said “A Covernant” not a contract!
Then came Romance! ….. enough now Freddie!
In conclusion, the key words to a long lasting marriage is as stated earlier.
Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness
The rest is history! Believe it or not!