How to Stay Married
By Pastor Steve Penny
Some of the things Marion and I have learnt in our attempts to keep our marriage together.
1. HONEYMOONS DON’T LAST
Honeymoons are short and sweet – but now someone has to clean house, go to work, learn the habits of another person, and submit for the sake of unity
.
Learning to keep the commitment alive when up to your elbows in stuff – is a real challenge.
The marriage covenant is for after the romance fades.
2. FIGHTS ARE NORMAL
Two total strangers committing to one another for better or worse.
The worse comes out early in your marriage and fights are normal. However feuding isn’t normal or healthy.
Learn to keep fights to a minimum time span.
Never say things you will regret later.
Never bring up your last fight – in this current battle.
3. TREAT YOUR PARTNER AS THE WEAKER VESSEL
The Bible says the woman is the weaker vessel.
All women believe the man is the weaker vessel.
If you treat your partner as the weaker vessel – you will take responsibility to encourage, uphold, support, forgive, love, nurture, heal etc.
4. YOU CAN’T GET OVER EVERYTHING
Sometimes in relationships you will not get over bad things – but must choose to get on with good things.
There are things in our marriage that have been there from the beginning, that we can’t get over – so we just choose to be big people and get on with our life together.
5. DON’T BELITTLE YOUR PARTNER TO YOUR FRIENDS & CHILDREN
Marriages fail when one partner alienates the children away from the other partner.
Honour and esteem one another in front of your friends and family.
Don’t discuss your partners issues with anyone.
Let your children see you say sorry to one another.
Show some public affection.
6. DON’T MAKE EXCUSES – MAKE ALLOWANCES
Learn to make allowances for weaknesses and bad behaviour.
Don’t make excuses for your partners issues – and don’t share them with anyone.
When you make allowances you are giving your partner room to keep believing they can change.
7. LEARN YOUR PARTNERS LOVE LANGUAGE
My wife Marion loves time together to talk.
Words are her language of love – so I have to turn the TV sport off, and listen to her accounts of her daily activities.
It pays huge dividends when I occasionally get it right.
8. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS DAILY
Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.
Forgive tonight – fix in the morning.
Once you choose to forgive – your feelings can change.
9. HUMBLE YOURSELF
If your marriage is failing – you are half the problem.
Don’t suggest otherwise.
Take responsibility to be the spiritual one – and be the change agent for good.
Never blame your partner’s issue for your marriage failure.
10. DO HAPPY THINGS
Life can be monotonous and boring – as well as stressful and challenging.
So make sure you are doing happy things together.
They don’t have to cost a lot of money – but they do take some of your time and effort.
HE WHO FINDS A PERFECT WIFE – FINDS A GOOD THING.
HE WHO LOVES A FLAWED WIFE – KEEPS A GOOD THING.